You might be a redneck if…….

•  Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
•  You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
•  You're an expert on worm beds.
•  The dogcatcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
•  Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
•  Your family tree does not branch.
•  The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
•  You haul more than U-Haul.
•  Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"
•  There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
•  Your wedding was held in the delivery room.
•  Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
•  Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
•  Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
•  The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
•  Your primary source of income is the pawnshop.
•  You pick your teeth from a catalog.
•  You've ever financed a tattoo.
•  You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."
•  A ceiling fan has ever ruined your hairdo.
•  Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
•  You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
•  You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
•  The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
•  You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
•  The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
•  Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
•  You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
•  You go to the family reunion to pick up women.
•  Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
•  You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
•  You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

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