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When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming, like all the passengers in her car.

A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this very profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said, "I think this was the decision George
Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware "

I have found inner peace; here's how you can, too. I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish everything you start. Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine and a small box of chocolate candy. I feel better already.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason is that a woman has to say everything twice." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
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Here are some quotes about random thouthts and things to ponder when you have a few extra minutes of boredom. Enjoy thes random expressions.
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Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
If cats could talk, they wouldn't.
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